I struggle...but, His Grace sustains me.

Some days when I look back on the things I have written, weather here or else where, I worry that I am painting a picture other than the one of my life.  I don't want to be one of those people who act as if everything is always rainbows and sunshine because I follow and praise God.  I also don't want to sound like I have all he answers either because neither of those are reality. Trust me I'm no stranger to struggle, pain, and I have certainly made my share wrong decisions. There have been times when I've felt broken, lost and even alone.  My life has seen some very painful, frustrating and even infuriating times. 

In fact, if you were able to see my face now you would be able to see that I have spent the last few days on the sobbing train with heartache, I will admit confusion and even sadness seem to be consuming me. My family is going through one of the hardest time in our life. I am missing some people desperately, struggling to hold others up and doing all I can to stay positive for even more…while experiencing my own pain and seemingly with no one to console me because most times I won't even let anyone know I need it.  Now, I’m not saying this for sympathy or praise…because truth of it is, it's only by the grace of God I am where I am today.  

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NIV)⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

            Now I will be honest with you, I'm not that far in my Christian walk to say that I take DELIGHT in being persecuted, insulted and going through difficult times…but, I do realize that through these times my weakness is used for Christ's sake, that my trials and tribulations are what make me strong and when others can see Him in me.  In my weakness His light and glory have a chance to shine through me…so I won't run from Him or His will.

            I think sometimes in our prayers we ask to be removed from heartache and pain. That God will take away whatever it is that seems too hard for us to bare or make it through, but that's not the way He works.  I know we have all heard it said that He never puts more on us than we can bare and while knowing that to be true, sometimes it feels so far from the truth. I know sometimes I feel like I could crumble underneath the weight of the pain and stress, but through it all I have learned that my God's grace will lead me through.  That He will never leave me and when I am weak it is He who is carrying me.  For that, I am ever grateful and will go through every trial and tribulation with praise and thanks.

"Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace.  And your best days are never so good that you're beyond the need of God's grace." (Unknown).