Sometimes our past mistakes and sin, whether still committing them or not, can consume us and our future. Too often we are our own worst enemies when it comes to forgiveness. We can’t let go of what we’ve done, therefore we can’t imagine that anyone else can…let alone God Himself. We hold onto thoughts of being unforgiveable or too far gone as well as doubt and shame taking over our thoughts. Things that people have said about our past seem to linger in our minds and our imagination feeds off them.
I used to say something all the time and it’s not until recently that I found out it’s from a Dr. Seuss book. “Those that matter don’t mind and those that mind don’t matter.” I like this because to me it’s the truth. If someone is for you and knows that true forgiveness is the right path then they are not going to hold things against you, if they do then they really don’t matter. When they forgive as Christ has forgiven…those are the ones that really matter. Once we repent and ask for God’s forgiveness, that’s it. We are forgiven…He doesn’t do take backs!
Romans 8:1-3 (NLT) 8 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.
Trust me, I do realize that sometimes it’s easier said than done; to let go of things of the past. It’s especially hard when we have made some very serious mistakes that have caused lifelong issues and changes. Because of this we allow the thought of being evil or unworthy to consume us. These are lies from the enemy and if we aren’t casting them out with God’s word they become truth in our own minds. We have to learn to shut out the lies the enemy tells us and instead learn to speak light into our lives. God’s word is light and the enemy’s lies are darkness and the two can’t co-exist in the same place.
Something I think is so hard for us to understand is that simple because we can’t forgive ourselves doesn’t mean that God can’t…and hasn’t! We just have to learn to accept that forgiveness. I realize how hard this can be, especially if we continue to fall. Each time we condemn ourselves and try to hide from God, when this is the time we should be seeking Him the most. There is nothing in or of this world that can separate us from the love of Christ. We find ourselves saying I can’t do this, the weight is too heavy for me to bare…as we turn to this or that for temporary comfort. What we have to understand is that He doesn’t want us to carry it by ourselves…He calls us to give it to Him.
1 Peter 5:7 (NLT) 7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
We have to somehow figure out how to give it to God and leave it there, so that He can begin to heal and transform our thoughts and order steps. This, I know from experience, is sometimes a very difficult thing to do. We can wake up some mornings feeling great, thinking the past is the past and I’m not looking back; I give it to Jesus and I’m pressing on. Then, something will happen…maybe a thought will cross our mind or someone will bring up the past and we are suddenly unworthy and unforgiveable all over again. It’s at this point that we need to pray and give it back to God. In the beginning we may need to do this daily…until we have truly let it go.
A way to achieve this is continual prayer and seeking God. Going back to my saying that Darkness and light can’t co-exist in the same place; by continually seeking God and His word, we are leaving little to no room for the enemy to fill our heads with his lies. One way we can do that is to find something that fills us with His love. Maybe it’s a spiritual song or a particular scripture that speaks to us. Listen to or read it daily, asking God to help you stay focused on Him and His goodness. When the bad thoughts or emotions begin to cloud you again…reach for that scripture or song and push them back out. It will probably be very difficult at first, but don’t give up. Keep on pressing on and I promise you that soon His light will begin to out shine anything the enemy can throw at you.
“The greatest enemy of the spiritual life is self-rejection BECAUSE it contradicts the Voice that calls you Beloved.” –Henri Nouwin
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