Feeling God’s Love

Yesterday my daughter asked me a question that caught me a bit off guard.  She wanted to know how you feel God’s love.  She said that she knows He loves her…but, how does she really know or feel it for herself and not just because it’s what she’s been told.  She asked me this while I was still at work and it was a bit hectic so I told her that we would talk about it that night.

After I got off the phone, I’m thinking to myself…how can I explain this to her?  I’m not even sure it’s something you can put into words.  I mean I realize it’s written countless times in the bible; His love and sacrifice for us fills its pages, but that’s not exactly what she is referring to.  She wants to know how she’s supposed to feel His love for herself.  What came to me was that this knowledge and feeling comes to us personally in two ways. 

I started thinking about it as a mother loves her child; we may not always say it, but our actions prove and show our undying love for our children.  It’s through our taking care of them, teaching them and laughing with them that they come to know how much it is that we love them.  Not just in knowledge either…they truly feel loved because of our actions towards them.

                This is where our own personal experience has to come into play.  We must think on how He loves and blesses us.  He shows His love in the fact that He sent His only son who committed no sins, to die for our sins.  God wakes us each morning and takes care of us throughout the day.  Anything we are able to do or have is because of Him.  His love for us is shown through our daily blessings.

There are so many ways to see and feel His love…through the love that we receive from family or from a warm smile from a stranger on a bad day.  We have to sometimes change the way we look at things…at life.  What we have may have been physically handed to or done for us by someone…but, ultimately it came from God.  He cares enough for us, that even though we can’t see Him in the physical, He sends His love through things and people we can physically touch and see. 

There is also another side to this…to feeling the emotional part of His love for us.  This part comes from our own personal relationship with Him.  No one can tell us how we feel His love, but instead we have to feel it for ourselves.  We can get this by truly meditating on Him…by praying to Him and seeking His presence.  By spending routine, as well as spontaneous, time with Him; in His word and doing His works.  The more time we spend with our minds on Him the closer we feel to Him and the more we can feel His presence and love for us. 

As I write this, I’m wondering if there really is a set answer for this question. I think it depends on who we are and what makes us feel loved.  We really are a people that live off of our emotions and sometimes just knowing something is not enough.  Wanting to know how He loves us or how we can feel it, in my opinion, boils down to our own personal relationship with Him.  The more we seek Him, the more we feel Him.  The more we can feel His presence, the more we can feel His matchless love for us. 

God is always there, ever present and ready to listen to us.  If…when we express a true desire in our hearts to know and feel His love for us, He will be faithful to fulfill that desire. 

Self-Condemnation

Romans 8:1-2 (NLT) 8 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. ² And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.

Through recent conversations with my daughter I have realized how bad she suffers from self-condemnation.  She condemns and judges herself for all her wrongs to the point of criticizing herself continually.  She sometimes feels like she’s letting people down, to include God.  Even when she recognizes a wrong and attempts to try and do better, she says that is when she really can’t get it right.  As a result, she second guesses herself a lot. 

With this, I have also come to understand how bad I suffered from self-condemnation as well.  I say suffered because I have also realized that, while not totally and completely, I have truly been blessed to not condemn myself as I once did.  I know that through my prayers, reading and meditating on God that He has begun to heal this in me.  He is helping me to see myself for who I am in Him and that when I fall short; I need to repent, let it go and strive for better.  It’s through my weakness, that God is made strong and where my help and growth come from.

While it’s never an easy or pleasant thing going through…I am thankful for having suffered through it.  It’s because of my growth and knowledge in my own experience that I don’t feel hopeless or helpless for my daughter.  I know that she will make it through this too.  Because of where God has brought me from I can be there for her and I have God given proof that He is more than able to purge her of the lies the enemy tells her. 

One day, while away on her mission trip, she called me crying because God has been working with her on her attitude and she said it keeps interfering with how she reacts to certain things and situations.  She couldn’t understand why she just can’t get it right the first time and please God.  She hates the fact that when something upsets her, sometimes, her instant reaction is to be mad or upset.  She recognizes it and is trying to do better but, gets frustrated because it seems to affect her even more now that she understands it is a problem. 

I explained to her that when the enemy sees you trying…especially trying for God, he starts to attack you where you are weak.  However, she must still show her faithfulness to God and stay in prayer and continue to strive towards Him.  I told her to ask God to transform her heart and mind to line up with His loving kindness.  With time He will help her to respond better and better.  We prayed together and it seemed to give her a bit of peace for the time.  Her desire to serve God and reach people for Him is growing stronger and stronger; I told her that is why the enemy attacks her so much.  I also said that is why she must trust God because he is bigger than anything the enemy can throw at her. 

I told her that I totally understand how hard it can be and that sometimes it will seem more than she can bear, but God is faithful and He will not leave her.  There will be times when she falls short, but it’s ok as long as she asks for forgiveness and continues to press on.  Sometimes pain is necessary for our growth, but on the other side she will have a praise and testimony that only she can tell.  Also, that because of it, she will be a blessing to someone else going through…which is what so much of our purpose is all about!  

“The greatest enemy of the spiritual life is self-rejection BECAUSE it contradicts the Voice that calls you Beloved.” –Henri Nouwin

Family Growth 5: Positive Reinforcement

The lies of this world would have us believe so many false things about ourselves.  It seems that there are two extremes…either we are supposed to be self-serving and out for number one or we feel worthless and full of shame.  The self-serving type leads to extreme selfishness, placing ourselves upon a pedestal; while the worthless type creates an introverted people who are afraid to step out or believe in themselves at all. 

The enemy does what he can to feed our minds with these lies and destroy what and who God truly created us to be.  he doesn’t want us to see ourselves as God sees us.  We are children of the most High God, created in His image with a great purpose and plan for our lives.   Now does this sound like a selfish or worthless type of person? 

This puts a drive in me to want to restore and refresh in my family their true worth in Christ.  It’s been a while since I’ve written about our Family Growth, but I wanted to share something that God placed on my heart to do with my family.  It is so important that we are constantly aware of our worth in Christ, without it we will fall.  It is my desire that my husband and children be reminded often, if not daily about the blessings they truly are.  That they be reminded of the great purpose on their lives to help fulfill the Kingdom of God. 

Philippians 1:6 (NLT) ⁶ And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

I want my husband to know the king that he is and my children to know their true potential as children of God.  My goal is to do something weekly to show them how truly special they really are, to show them that God loves them more than they could ever imagine.  I have a few ideas in my head…like to pull certain scriptures that speak to their specific situations, explaining to them how that scripture pertains to them.  I think it would be great to leave them little notes with the scriptures on them.  To help them by encouraging them in the areas they are gifted at.  With my efforts; my prayer is that they will understand that God started something in them before they were even born and through Him they can complete it. 

John 15:5 (NLT) ⁵ “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.

I don’t take this lightly and also plan to pray about this so that God will give me ideas that will really resonate with their spirit and encourage them to seek Him even more.  However, I also want to be careful not to cause them to be too prideful and think that what they accomplish is because of themselves.  It is so important that we all learn that we are special and blessed, but also to understand that anything we accomplish or obtain is because of God and His hand on our lives! 

I’ll also quickly say that the Family Prayer Board has had one of the biggest impacts on my family.  It not only keeps us in prayer, but it’s teaching us to trust in God with and for everything.  We have had many requests by family and friends to add prayers to it and have seen some answered already.  God is so good and so worthy of all the praise!! 

Let Go and Let God

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NLT) ⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. ⁶ Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.

How many times have we heard people tell us to let go and let God?  How many times have we thought to ourselves, that is so much easier said than done and even further to ask ourselves how in the world am I supposed to do that!?!  Sometimes they make it sound so easy and I guess when thinking about it, because of who God is and what He is capable of, it should be.  Yet, somehow when trying to put it into action or take our action out of it, it sometimes seems an impossible thing to do.

Last night I found myself praying to God to help me let go and let Him have what has been troubling me lately.  I asked Him to help me move it beyond my lips to my heart and restore my peace.  I have the knowledge that God is my all in all, that everything I am experiencing He knows and is carrying me in the palm of His hand…but, somehow the worry is still there.  I continue to find myself trying to help, making suggestions or just plain making myself sick because I hate to see the heartache, confusion and even anger being built up. 

There are times when I think I’ve given it (any current situation or circumstance) to Him because I’ll be silent about it, yet I still worry myself sick over it.  Part of me thinks as time passes or I get through each situation it should get easier, but I’m often wrong. I really wish I could sit here and say I’ve found some easy answer to letting go of the things that we can’t control and allowing God to have His way, but sometimes it really is a struggle for me.  Sometimes I feel like I’m climbing up the same mountain and instead of the top getting closer and closer the mountain seem to get taller and taller.  I’m tired of doing and seeing the same things and getting the same stupid results.  I want a lasting change and transformation to what’s going on.

As I was praying I realized that sometimes these storms, even when seemingly longer than life itself, are for a reason.  Each new storm seems to test a different area in my life and new obstacles to overcome or learn from. Even when it wasn’t “my” storm, there was still something that God wanted me to get out of it. 

God is teaching me that before things get to a point that I can’t take it or instead of trying to take things into my own hands that I need to stay in prayer.  If this means each morning I wake I need to pray and give it to Him or ask Him to take it, then that is what I need to do.  My prayers need to be for strength and revelation.  Asking Him to help me see what He wants me to see and to let Him lead the way.  So often I try to figure things out on my own and this only adds to my stress and repeat behavior.  Sometimes we have to learn to be still and wait for God ideas to be given.  It’s certainly not always pleasant and defiantly not always easy.  In fact, it’s often times frustrating and painful, but in the end I am always victorious because I let Him lead the way. 

A pretty familiar, but also helpful, prayer is the serenity prayer.  It’s a prayer that can be said each morning that helps us to trust God for everything and asks Him to guide our paths. 

God grant me the serenity to accept
The things that I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.

Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, Not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things
Right if I surrender to His will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

—— Reinhold Niebuhr.

Humbling ourselves

James 4:6-7 (VOICE) ⁶ You may think that the situation is hopeless, but God gives us more grace when we turn away from our own interests. That’s why Scripture says, God opposes the proud, but He pours out grace on the humble. ⁷ So submit yourselves to the one true God and fight against the devil and his schemes. If you do, he will run away in failure.

Is it worth being “right” to the point of allowing friendships, family or any relationship to fall by the wayside?    There are times when in a particular situation you’re absolutely right, the other person is right…or maybe no one is right however, we feel the need to hold on to the “I’m right” to the point of allowing relationships to crumble.  This can truly be harmful and even devastating to everyone involved.  Sometimes we need to swallow our pride because it’s more important to let it go and be the bigger person than to be the one who is “right”. 

Too often we allow these issues to grow putting more time and space between you and the other person(s).  Often times not realizing it doesn’t just affect the initial ones involved.  Both sides are too busy thinking the other one is wrong to just let it all go and do what is right.  It’s seems to become easier and easier to just not say anything than to forgive.  We would rather carry the hurt, resentment and hard feelings around, building mental and emotional walls, than to just let it go.  This is exactly what the enemy wants us to do.  It builds hard hearts and feeds our own selfish pride. 

Now I realize there are times when, maybe you have tried to make amends.  You’ve tried talking to the other person and wanted to let the issue go for the greater picture, only to find your efforts in vain.  It’s at this time that we have done what we can and now must leave it to God and take it to Him in prayer.  If our hearts and minds were in the right place when we made that attempt, then it’s my belief that nothing more can be expected of us except to continue to pray about it and trust God to fix it as He sees fit. 

I’ve been on both sides of the problem;  I’ve been the one who swallowed my pride to make it right and sadly I can also say that I’ve been the one to hold on to the issue rather than just let it go.  I can honestly say that holding onto hurtful things is truly a no win situation.  We’re right….now what?  We’ve lost relationships, built up hard to tear down emotional walls and even hurt others involved.  What good or purpose does this serve? 

I’m realistic enough to understand that sometimes it is better to just walk away…those aren’t the times I’m talking about here.  The times when it doesn’t really matter nor does anyone any good to be “right” or “wrong”, that is what I am referring to.  Sometimes we can really be a very prideful people and pride is not what God calls for us to walk in.  I don’t doubt that it can be very hard to take the first step, but I can also say that in the end…it is so much more worth it.  Not only are we mending the situation and relationships, but we are humbling ourselves and showing God’s love in and through our actions.  This is the true love of God! 

Freeing

Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT) ¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Over the last month or so, I have had two very freeing revelations, two things that I have been struggling with off and on for quite some time.  God has helped me to reevaluate and bring things back into perspective.  It’s always such a wonderful thing when you know it’s Him talking to you and guiding you along the way. (Insert very large smile)

The first is with my women’s group; I’ve been feeling like I’m failing the girls.  Feeling like I’m not handling things as I should or I don’t have a good enough plan or set up.  I’ve been condemning myself for not being this organized spiritual leader that I see in churches or on TV.  By organized I mean…I don’t have set plans for us to study this and that or for us to read this and then discuss it later. 

So a couple of weeks ago I decided to look at what I wrote down when God first blessed me with this idea.   What I wrote was…it will be a group of women to get together to testify of God’s goodness, to encourage each other in word and prayer and to become close so that we know we always have a spiritual sister we can count on.  This group’s purpose was to build spiritual fellowship with a small group of women to grow together in the Lord, through prayer and praise. 

Being reminded of this felt really good; it showed me that I am being obedient to God and that our coming together is still in praise and honor of Him.  Now, I’m not saying that somewhere down the line we won’t incorporate some particular books to read or something like that…but, we will stay in prayer about it and let God guide our steps. 

Ephesians 4:31-32 (NLV) ³¹ Put out of your life all these things: bad feelings about other people, anger, temper, loud talk, bad talk which hurts other people, and bad feelings which hurt other people. ³² You must be kind to each other. Think of the other person. Forgive other people just as God forgave you because of Christ’s death on the cross.

The second revelation was about my feelings…whether of hurt, confusion and even some anger towards another person.  Part of this understanding has come from my blog Separate the sin from the person.  While writing it I realized there are many reasons people do things the way they do, to include myself, and even if being treated wrong does not give me the right to return the same.  I gave much of myself and depending on the situation I was either accepted (to an extent) or used and this caused me to feel a multitude of emotions.  I tried to be careful not to portray those emotions, but in my heart was built up hurt, confusion and anger so I’m sure I wasn’t always successful at concealing it. 

However, I now realize that it does neither me nor the other person any good to harbor these hurt feelings and that I would be better to let it go and allow God to heal me and prayerfully them.  I’ve noticed some of the ways God is helping me with this…recently He has placed a new person in my life that somewhat reminds me of the other person, or a younger version of that person.  They look so innocent and love to help others out, as well as being very loving and playful.  This has helped me to see past what has occurred back to the person and for this I am really thankful. 

While it never totally left, my love and compassion is being restored and my prayers for them are returning to what they once were…actually, now being lead even more by the Holy Spirit.  I’ve also come to realize that on all sides things are not being handled as they should and could be dealt with better, with God at the forefront in every aspect.  So my prayers for everyone to be in the will of God have increased. 

I always feel so blessed when God reveals things that need to be changed, especially within myself.  Initially it’s not always the most pleasant, but it really does help with my emotional, mental and spiritual growth.  These are both lessons that I pray stay with me and continue to help me grow.