Romans 8:1-2 (NLT) 8 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.
Through recent conversations with my daughter I have realized how bad she suffers from self-condemnation. She condemns and judges herself for all her wrongs to the point of criticizing herself continually. She sometimes feels like she’s letting people down, to include God. Even when she recognizes a wrong and attempts to try and do better, she says that is when she really can’t get it right. As a result, she second guesses herself a lot.
With this, I have also come to understand how bad I suffered from self-condemnation as well. I say suffered because I have also realized that, while not totally and completely, I have truly been blessed to not condemn myself as I once did. I know that through my prayers, reading and meditating on God that He has begun to heal this in me. He is helping me to see myself for who I am in Him and that when I fall short; I need to repent, let it go and strive for better. It’s through my weakness, that God is made strong and where my help and growth come from.
While it’s never an easy or pleasant thing going through…I am thankful for having suffered through it. It’s because of my growth and knowledge in my own experience that I don’t feel hopeless or helpless for my daughter. I know that she will make it through this too. Because of where God has brought me from I can be there for her and I have God given proof that He is more than able to purge her of the lies the enemy tells her.
One day, while away on her mission trip, she called me crying because God has been working with her on her attitude and she said it keeps interfering with how she reacts to certain things and situations. She couldn’t understand why she just can’t get it right the first time and please God. She hates the fact that when something upsets her, sometimes, her instant reaction is to be mad or upset. She recognizes it and is trying to do better but, gets frustrated because it seems to affect her even more now that she understands it is a problem.
I explained to her that when the enemy sees you trying…especially trying for God, he starts to attack you where you are weak. However, she must still show her faithfulness to God and stay in prayer and continue to strive towards Him. I told her to ask God to transform her heart and mind to line up with His loving kindness. With time He will help her to respond better and better. We prayed together and it seemed to give her a bit of peace for the time. Her desire to serve God and reach people for Him is growing stronger and stronger; I told her that is why the enemy attacks her so much. I also said that is why she must trust God because he is bigger than anything the enemy can throw at her.
I told her that I totally understand how hard it can be and that sometimes it will seem more than she can bear, but God is faithful and He will not leave her. There will be times when she falls short, but it’s ok as long as she asks for forgiveness and continues to press on. Sometimes pain is necessary for our growth, but on the other side she will have a praise and testimony that only she can tell. Also, that because of it, she will be a blessing to someone else going through…which is what so much of our purpose is all about!
“The greatest enemy of the spiritual life is self-rejection BECAUSE it contradicts the Voice that calls you Beloved.” –Henri Nouwin
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