Listening

                Even before the start of the New Year and all the talk of resolutions I’ve been noticing a change in myself and even more so, the desire to change.  I can’t specifically say it’s a change in any one direction, except to say striving harder for God.  I’m really feeling and wanting this all around better me and life.  From my quiet prayer time to my physical outward walk with God, I want more.  With that being said and keeping with my goal for the New Year to just be a better me, I want to start off with my prayer life.  Something that I seem to have difficulty with is allowing it to be a two way street; I need to learn to listen as much as I pray. 

                If anybody knows me, they know I am a true advocate for prayer.  I know that without a shadow of a doubt it truly changes things and lives.  I also know how important it is to not only talk to God, but to also listen for and to Him….yet, this is something I feel I struggle with.  I know part of the problem is finding the time and not just time, but quiet uninterrupted time to just sit before Him.  Now I know myself and my life well enough to know that my best time is found in the mornings before I wake anyone else up for the day. 

So, I’ve decided to take a small break from the online studies that I have been doing and to rededicate that time to trying to hear from God.  My plan is to get up and read a chapter of the Bible, say a prayer and then try to sit quietly and meditate on what I’ve read.  I hope to learn to quietly sit before Him and discern between His voice and that of my own thinking.  I do realize that it will take time to learn to hush my mind so that I can focus on the word; instead of the many things I need to do for the day or that have happened the day before.  However, I do trust that because my heart desires to hear from God, He will open my spiritual ears. 

This is something that I have talked about a lot with a friend over the years; she would always tell me to find a quiet place, sit and listen.  Then I’d shoot her a crazy look or a yeah right because I’ve tried…many times over and it just doesn’t seem to work for me.  She’s told me that it sometimes takes time and that not every time that I sit, will I hear something.  It’s the obedience and desire of wanting to hear from Him that strengthens my spiritual leading and hearing from Him. 

Now, I do admit I haven’t tried it for any significant length of time.  Maybe a couple days at most…then I seem to get a bit frustrated and feel like I just can’t hear Him.  I will also say that I think I hear from Him a lot more than I realize, especially with the wonderful ideas He gives me to introduce to my family.  I know these are ideas from Him, but somehow in my mind don’t link them to Him actually speaking to me.  I also admit that I’m one to want to hear that audible voice, but deep down realize that most often that is not the way He will speak to me. 

It is my truest hope that I will learn in my quiet time to not only pray to God, but to listen for that still small voice in my spirit.  I am determined to realize that not every sitting will produce a specific leading, but it’s my prayer that I will grow closer to Him and to honor and reverence Him with my heart and mind.