Baby Steps

Happy Valentine’s Day,

I was on my way into work this morning and I realize that I have been with my husband for about 25 Valentines days, give or take a few because of umm….not so good times and life...lol.  I just thought that was pretty amazing; it being over half my life and I’m only 40.  Anyway, hoping everyone is having a great day so far. 

Ok, let’s talk about his whole weight thing. I’m learning that this really is a life style change and that I can’t beat myself up when I make a mistake.  I just have to get back up and continue on doing better. I’m pretty sure someone told me this before or I read it somewhere; I guess I’m a bit of a slow learner sometimes. Lol.  It actually feels good, though, to look at the positive choices that I’ve made instead of dwelling on the poor ones.  For instance; last night for dinner I made some baked BBQ chicken along with roasted veggies and some mac n’ cheese and I fixed myself a portion controlled plate with the exception the macaroni and cheese. It was really good and as much as I wanted to go back for seconds, I didn’t. It’s a small win, but with a huge boost.  I’m attempting to cut out the pop again unless we go out to eat…not sure why, but I can’t drink water from a restaurant; yeah I know…doesn’t make much sense.   

I also just bought the “Made to Crave” devotional because I had read a few things about it and a few people had told me about it too.  I think I’ve talked my husband into reading it nightly with me, praying that it makes a difference for the both of us.  Our hearts want better, but man if that flesh isn’t weak so I figured the two of us together can make this change and hold each other accountable. 

            Baby steps, but I’ve lost a couple of pounds already and I’m continuing to pray that I can stay strong and focused with God’s help. 

From the Inside Out

To know me is to know that for most of my life I have not had a big issue with my weight, but in the last 4 to 5 years that has not been the case. However I don’t think it's as much about the actual weight, but instead how I feel and where it causes my thoughts of myself to go. Now I'd love to blame the fact that I have had two umbilical hernia repair surgeries and that I have very annoying digestive issues, which are true, BUT the even bigger truth is that I'm not eating properly nor exercising and those are probably the bigger issues!  

Towards the end of the week last week I realized two things; 1. I am a visual type person and 2. the struggle really starts within and it is as much about my appearance as it is about how I truly feel about myself in general. So to help myself with both of these realizations I printed out some things that speak positivity and God’s word to my spirit instead of the negativity and lies of the enemy and I hung them on my bathroom mirror. Things like:

**1 Corinthians 6:19 (NLT) ¹⁹ Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 

**”I’m tired of hating my own body!”

**Solomon 4:7 You are beautiful in every way, my true love.  There is no blemish on you

**God created it. Jesus died for it.  The Spirit lives in it.  I’d better take care of it.

Just to name a few.

My purpose for hanging them on the mirror in my bathroom is because when I’m getting dressed and undressed that’s when I am at my most vulnerable and when the lies and hateful thoughts consume me the most. Now I just hung them up on Saturday so I won’t claim any major breakthroughs or changes in my life already, but I will say that I realize the desire to change is a bit different this time…so I’m hoping and praying that His truth is what will begin to fill my heart and mind instead of the lies. 

Maybe as some time passes I’ll feel a bit more comfortable sharing some pictures or at least my weight so that we can track my progress together, but I think the bigger goal is to transform myself from the inside out first; to begin to love myself regardless of what the outside looks like or how it may or may not compare to others.