Baby Steps

Happy Valentine’s Day,

I was on my way into work this morning and I realize that I have been with my husband for about 25 Valentines days, give or take a few because of umm….not so good times and life...lol.  I just thought that was pretty amazing; it being over half my life and I’m only 40.  Anyway, hoping everyone is having a great day so far. 

Ok, let’s talk about his whole weight thing. I’m learning that this really is a life style change and that I can’t beat myself up when I make a mistake.  I just have to get back up and continue on doing better. I’m pretty sure someone told me this before or I read it somewhere; I guess I’m a bit of a slow learner sometimes. Lol.  It actually feels good, though, to look at the positive choices that I’ve made instead of dwelling on the poor ones.  For instance; last night for dinner I made some baked BBQ chicken along with roasted veggies and some mac n’ cheese and I fixed myself a portion controlled plate with the exception the macaroni and cheese. It was really good and as much as I wanted to go back for seconds, I didn’t. It’s a small win, but with a huge boost.  I’m attempting to cut out the pop again unless we go out to eat…not sure why, but I can’t drink water from a restaurant; yeah I know…doesn’t make much sense.   

I also just bought the “Made to Crave” devotional because I had read a few things about it and a few people had told me about it too.  I think I’ve talked my husband into reading it nightly with me, praying that it makes a difference for the both of us.  Our hearts want better, but man if that flesh isn’t weak so I figured the two of us together can make this change and hold each other accountable. 

            Baby steps, but I’ve lost a couple of pounds already and I’m continuing to pray that I can stay strong and focused with God’s help. 

From the Inside Out

To know me is to know that for most of my life I have not had a big issue with my weight, but in the last 4 to 5 years that has not been the case. However I don’t think it's as much about the actual weight, but instead how I feel and where it causes my thoughts of myself to go. Now I'd love to blame the fact that I have had two umbilical hernia repair surgeries and that I have very annoying digestive issues, which are true, BUT the even bigger truth is that I'm not eating properly nor exercising and those are probably the bigger issues!  

Towards the end of the week last week I realized two things; 1. I am a visual type person and 2. the struggle really starts within and it is as much about my appearance as it is about how I truly feel about myself in general. So to help myself with both of these realizations I printed out some things that speak positivity and God’s word to my spirit instead of the negativity and lies of the enemy and I hung them on my bathroom mirror. Things like:

**1 Corinthians 6:19 (NLT) ¹⁹ Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 

**”I’m tired of hating my own body!”

**Solomon 4:7 You are beautiful in every way, my true love.  There is no blemish on you

**God created it. Jesus died for it.  The Spirit lives in it.  I’d better take care of it.

Just to name a few.

My purpose for hanging them on the mirror in my bathroom is because when I’m getting dressed and undressed that’s when I am at my most vulnerable and when the lies and hateful thoughts consume me the most. Now I just hung them up on Saturday so I won’t claim any major breakthroughs or changes in my life already, but I will say that I realize the desire to change is a bit different this time…so I’m hoping and praying that His truth is what will begin to fill my heart and mind instead of the lies. 

Maybe as some time passes I’ll feel a bit more comfortable sharing some pictures or at least my weight so that we can track my progress together, but I think the bigger goal is to transform myself from the inside out first; to begin to love myself regardless of what the outside looks like or how it may or may not compare to others.

Walking In Love and Honoring Richard

     Yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of my bonus son going HOME to be with The Lord and as you guys know we have been doing random acts of kindness in his honor for this entire month.  Well, yesterday we decided to honor some of the people that meant a lot to him.  With the help of some truly amazing friends we were able to provide a meal for a fire department complete with dessert and drinks and we also made a big basket full of snacks and drinks for a police station.  They were all very moved and touched by what was given and so were we by being able to do so. 

     They asked why we were doing this and we gave them two reasons;

1. Because we are the hands and feet of Christ and we are here to show love and compassion, reach out and help and bless others when we can.

2. In honor of Richard because right up until he left his earthly body he always gave of himself and was concerned with how others were doing.

 

     Our greatest desire in these random acts of kindness is that others will see Christ through our actions; that they will see, feel and accept His love and even walk out the same in their own life. The fact that we do it in Richards honor just makes it that much more special! 

Just A Few Things On My MInd.

    

     Well, I dropped my college student off Friday before last and I managed to keep the tears at bay on the ride up and when we left her, but I only made it halfway home before I couldn't hold them any more. And that Saturday, I was a complete mess; crying off and on all day! I told ya'll I was working on it..lol. Then on Sunday evening she called and we talked for about 45 minutes; she told me all about the great sermon she heard in church that morning with her friend and again I heard God say, it's going to be ok. 
 

     During my crying episodes that Saturday I realized that those tears weren't only for the fact that I will/do miss my daughter, but that they were also because of a bit of fear that I'm starting to feel within. I'm ready for this change and next step that God is taking me to, but I am also scared to take it. What if I fail, what if I don't measure up...what if I don't like who I am or what I have become? I'm doing my best not to allow this worry and fear to stop me though, I am still pressing on.
 

     Looking towards my Fit To Forty I have started eating less junk and more healthier foods, this past Thursday I began my 21 day fix workout plan...and if I'm being real honest it's already turned into a "22" day fix. I have already missed a day of working out...sighs! But, I will extend myself some grace and say that mess up does not define me.
 

     We also have something very special planned for our Random Acts of Kindness in honor of Richard this week too. Some of you may know that the anniversary of his going HOME is Wednesday the 24th and we are going to try and honor him in a big way by honoring some of the things that were important to him. I'll share it with you that day.

Have a great day and do something to put a smile on someone's face

Random Acts Of Kindness--Remembering my lil buddy ❤️💛❤️

Today at work a gentleman approached the desk asking for help finding where his daughter worked.  I found her location and then walked him to where she was stationed.  Along the way he told me that this is his first time seeing her in a very long time because he just got out of recovery for being an alcoholic. He had a letter that he wanted to give her....and leave the choice to her; he was a ball of nerves as I left him. Walking back to my desk I couldn’t let it go, he was weighing heavy on my heart, so I had to go back. As I got back a different nurse told him she was working and couldn’t come out, but that she would give the letter to her for him.  He saw me and looked a little relieved to see a “familiar” face, I smiled and asked him if I could pray with him.  He looked like he was going to cry and said to me, “you’re so kind, I’ve been praying while I’ve been standing here waiting too.”  We prayed, I offered some words of encouragement, I gave him a hug and told him that we will allow God to work on the rest. As I left I told him I will continue to pray for them both. He was very grateful for the prayer and so was I for God allowing me to pray with him. These truly are the best random acts of kindness…I honestly feel so very blessed right now! ❤️💛❤️
#RandomActsOfKindness
#InHonorOfRichard
#AllForGodsGlory

You Are More

Riding into work this morning this song came on and the lyrics really spoke to me. How often do we define ourselves by our past or our mistakes? How often do we feel worthless and less than what we were created for? Take a listen and allow this song to write on your heart and silence the lies of the enemy because You Are More! Have a blessed day friends!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=WhDrzTQ5rn0

Your Twist

I really like this! We are all gifted; some of us in the same areas; and it can make us feel that others are better equipped to do something...but, we each have our own twist on what God has blessed us with. You're unique, blessed and gifted with a twist!

*A Random Act of Kindness-Shared*

I know I've posted something today, but I just had to share this :) 

Hello Terra,

We didn’t perform a random act of kindness on Saturday, but we did provide a family with a meal.

We were coming out of Kohl’s when we heard a man asking for help, over in the median of the parking lot, under a shade tree.

He first asked for some change.  He was sitting down with his wife and four children, aging from around age 4 to 12.   We checked our pockets and had no change.  My husband walked over to engage in conversation while I took our two kids to the car.

When my husband came to the car he asked me what did I think of picking up Chic fil A for the family.  I said sure.

We brought back a sandwich for each family member, 6 cold waters, and 3 fries.  My husband had me fill out a sheet of paper with our church’s information on it, so they could seek further help… anyway, I thought about your challenge in honor of your son.  It wasn’t random, but is sure felt good knowing we fed that family!

Have a blessed day! 

**I recieved this email today and it gave my heart the biggest smile. My reply was that her and her family didn't set out to do it so it was a beautiful random act.  She then told me they didn't even intend to go there, but instead somewhere else...but she felt lead to go to Kohl's. God is so amazing...our randoms are by His design!!  Boy this is such a blessing to me!!**

Fit To Forty

     Yesterday I posted on my social media page that I was exactly 2 months and 10 days (9 days now) away from my 40th birthday and that I am on a quest to a better me.  I set 4 goals for myself; one for each decade of my life; and I'm calling it "Fit To Forty"!

 

     The first was to pray more; being honest I know I could/should spend more time on my knees before God; seeking Him and to be more like Him. Second was to eat better; I sure do love the wrong foods way too much and I need to start taking better care of myself.  If I'm not healthy then I can't take care of my family and I certainly can't be about my Father's business.  

 

     Third is to exercise again.  This is something I used to do and LOVED, but life and time have happened and it shows...sighs.  And, the fourth is to write more.  I started this blog because I love to write and share my heart with anyone who wants to listen, but somewhere along the way I became slack with it.  I honestly believe it is part of what God has called me to do and it's something I love to do.  

     I don't expect to see dramatic results right away with any of these goals, but they say it takes anywhere from 21-61 days to create a habit and I've given myself that and a little bit more (I know I'll need it..lol). My prayer is to see lasting growth spiritually, mentally and physically for myself, those that I love and anyone I am blessed to encounter. 

     Sooooo...anyone with me!?!

Even In The Storms

There was a storm rolling through when I stepped outside last night and I looked up and saw this. It made me think of how we go through the storms of life and how it can feel like darkness is surrounding us on all sides; causing us to retreat on the inside. But, right there in the center of it all is God's radiant light showing us the way and always watching over us. Even when we can't see, He can! We just have to hold on to His unchanging hand and trust His plan for our life. My prayer for anyone going through a storm right now is that God will shine His light upon you; bringing you out on the other side with joy, peace and praise in your heart! Have a blessed and beautiful day friends!

Seeking What's Next

     The start of this school year, yes...my babies have started school already, has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster for me.  My two youngest will be starting middle school, (My bonus daughter hasn't started just yet) my middle child starts high school and my oldest will soon leave for college.  

     To say that I am a ball of nerves is truly a great understatement.  I feel like my younger two are just too "little" to be in middle school and my middle child is just too "mild" to go to high school. Now my oldest I fully believe is ready for college, but....well, I'm just not ready for her to go! Granted she is only going an hour away, but to not see her every day I feel will half about tear me apart. Yeah....I know, I'm working on getting it together...sighs!

 

     While dropping off my new high schooler this morning I realized that I was not going to be as busy as I have been in the years past.  My oldest was VERY active with sports, clubs and a lot of other things, that my middle child just isn't into...which leaves some "idle" time for me. What will I do with this time;  Will I be bored? Will I be sad? Will I be annoying to others with "my woe is me my child left me for college" attitude? 

 

     Then suddenly I felt a sort of calming come over me; I realized that God has plans for me during this time and instantly this gave me a bit of peace.  I'm not sure what those plans are!?!  I do know there are a few things that I used to do that I have let slip by the wayside and I also know that I can only expect great things from Him. So, with that being said I am looking forward to the days to come; praying that I see the doors God's opening and gracefully allowing the others to close.