Continued Self-Revelation

If you read my blog on Pride, you know that God revealed some not so nice things to me about myself.  After praying intensely about it, I now want to be purged of anything that is within me that isn't pleasing to God.  I want to be all that He has created me to be first for Him and the furthering of His Kingdom.  Second for my family and myself and thirdly for anyone that He blesses me to come in contact with.  I know that this is not going to be an easy process.  I felt like a truly horrible person when I realized that I can be prideful and stubborn sometimes.  However, I realize that He showed me this not to hurt me, but to help, heal and better me. 

Now with that being said, I am praying that God will GENTLY show me the things that I need to change within myself as well as how to change them.  It's one thing to want this and pray about it, but another thing entirely to actually try and live it.  So I've come to a place where I'm surrendering it all to Jesus.  Any anger, pain and heartache of my past I lay it all down before Him.  All my insecurities and the walls that I have built up I release them to Him…to shape and mold me any way He sees fit. 

2 Timothy 3:16-17 (NLT) ¹⁶ All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. ¹⁷ God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work.

I will read, pray and reflect daily on the things that He reveals to me and how He guides me to change them.  I've never been the best at writing things down, but I will do my best to write them down as He shows them to me.  I believe that if I can do this, when I become discouraged or confused, I will have something to remind me and redirect me back to my purpose.  I'm also praying that God will help me to always be open and honest about what I am going through, not only with myself and my family, but with you too.  There can only be growth with acceptance and in order for me to accept it, I have to be honest about it. 

Through this time of reflecting and growth I pray that my life's experiences and testimonies will help someone else.  Too often we go through things and think or feel we are all alone, but we are not.  There is always someone out there who has gone through something similar and we can be a light to show them that there is sunshine after the storm.

Whew, honestly, even just saying this gives me a bit of mixed emotions.  I'm joyful because I'm opening up more to God and I know that good will come from this.  At the same time, I will also say that I am a bit nervous because it's not always easy or the most pleasant to totally SEE yourself.  I feel His leading in this season of my life so I won't allow fear to hold me back and cause me to revert back into myself.  He has greater for me and my family and I will push through with my focus stayed on Him.